you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize