She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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