Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
