Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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