my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize