Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
