maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
