I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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