I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
