Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
