Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
