So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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