Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Randomize
