I cannot find my penis.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
