I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
