where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
wanna go halves on a baby?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
