I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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