Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
