When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
