based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
