so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
