would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize