my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
