your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Pappa wants mamma naked
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
