Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
