honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
time to smoke my breakfast
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
