I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
