even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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