How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
