So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
