pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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