Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
