I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
