so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
