Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
