If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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