He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
