we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just had sex on a roof
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
