Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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