shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
