im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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