Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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