Its about making memories worth repressing
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize