At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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