Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
