I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
