If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
When are your genitals available?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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