singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
