Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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