i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
