Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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