dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
