i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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