Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
