maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We're too hungover to prance.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
