I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
