the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
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