Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
