So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize