and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
